A Visit With The Vampires

As I said in my first confession, I keep lots of things to myself. Lots of things. Especially how I feel physically, not just emotionally. I have a happy mask and I wear it often, regardless of how much pain I'm in, because I really don't want people to see the truth. (Admittedly, this is not always wise. When I was applying for a 504 plan in school (for students with special needs/disabilities), one of the reason it was denied was because my teachers and the psycho-logist who interroga—interviewed me said I appeared to feel fine. Oops. Shoulda moaned in agony.) My happy mask is most often in use when I'm hanging out with my friends. Some of the choice gathering spots are the park and the theater. Well, I'm allergic to the outdoors, so the park is not so fun after a while. Also, I'm allergic to both the local theaters. The older one makes me slightly itchy and coughy, and the newer one gives me massive headaches. I put on a smile and pretend it isn't so, though, because I want to hang out with my friends and just be normal.

Generally my complaints are caused by my being allergic to the world and my not sleeping, which everyone knows about, so I don't feel so bad about lying about/hiding how I feel. However, when major things happen, I don't want to keep people in the dark. So, here's an update.

At the end of December, I had an appointment with the endocrinologist who put me on medicine to raise my blood pressure. He did this because my BP was averaging around 90/60 and I was passing out and having all sorts of problems with my stomach because of it. When he took my blood pressure at that recent check up though, my BP was too high. Okay, reduce the meds. "Perhaps you're just outgrowing the hypotension." Well, two weeks later I was off the medicine completely and my BP was still high, reaching 182/115 at one point. I went back to see this doctor today and he said that blood pressure this high is "uncommon and definitely not good in a wisp of a nineteen-and-a-half-year-old like you" and he decided that some lab work was necessary.

Down I trotted to the diagnostic lab on the first floor to have my blood forcibly removed. They wanted urine too but... that was not taken by force. They're going to check for problems in my thyroid, kidneys, and liver. (Not all as causes for the high BP... also checking for damage from all the ibuprofen I've taken in the last six years.) Kidney disease runs in my family, and he seemed to think that that was a very likely cause for my high BP. Depending on what the lab work shows, there may be an ultrasound in my future.

We should have the results back tomorrow. I'm trying not to stress about it.